| Monday, February 8th, 2010 |
| 7:41 pm |
So the other day I was walking down the steet and I couldn't shake the feeling of having forgot something. and then I was all like, "PANTS." |
| Saturday, January 30th, 2010 |
| 4:40 pm |
Nothing more than a celebration of failure. |
| Monday, January 25th, 2010 |
| 6:31 pm |
For two days now, I've been halluinating the smell or actually smelling weed everywhere; at the bar, at the school I go to. But when I lit up a bowl, the smell went away, weird. |
| Saturday, January 9th, 2010 |
| 12:00 pm |
So girl I know got arrested for selling her body for crack money. On her face book she made a post about ever was going to miss her while she's away in rehab. I replied that no I wouldn't miss her. She said I was lying and then called me an "Armenian burnout" Also as Autistic guy got mad at me because he miss interpreted something I said. oh boy |
| Monday, January 4th, 2010 |
| 7:11 pm |
peeing on clothes is not a good way to clean them. |
| Wednesday, December 30th, 2009 |
| 2:00 pm |
The other day I needed som new clothes, the first place I went was too expisenive so I went another place down the street and I'm looking around and everything is WAY too big for me, then i realized it was a BIG and TAll store. lol wait, where's the poop? |
| Thursday, December 17th, 2009 |
| 6:28 pm |
What has happened to the porno store? I go in there and its nothing but cuples buying dildos It was even two women working there. Its no longer the safe haven for creppy weridos it once was... On another note, I was walking around looking for a good porno and the title "Fuck Authority" grabbed my attention. The perfect porno for me I thought, on the count of me hating being told what to do. SO I picked it up and it turns out it was a gay porno, and turns out it was the perfect porno for me. |
| Saturday, December 12th, 2009 |
| 11:07 am |
I may be a lot of things. But at least I'm mature enough to admit I fart and adult enough to admit sometimes those farts smell. Yeah I'm calling you out. GROW THE FUCK UP |
| Saturday, December 5th, 2009 |
| 11:54 am |
It was early in the morning. the distant winter sun, though shining through my window, was offering no warmth on my face. Yet it still felt good to be alive. So I picked my nose. Great moment in nose picking. I pulled all the most extordenary booger I have ever seen, and I'm seen A LOT of boogers. The shape, the color, just perfection. The green mixed with the brown with litle black spots mix in in the jagged crystal-shape. Fisrt I wanted to presever it, to frame it, then I thought "fuckit", so I ate it. |
| Sunday, November 29th, 2009 |
| 5:20 pm |
I was having dinner with the 'rents and my mom was going on about her MRI and how has this weird helmet thing on and and other isolation things going on. So I said " That's like some crazy Altered States type shit!" Mom: I don't know what that it Its a movie where this guy is put into a isolation tank and they give him hallucinogenic drugs. Mom: oh they gave me some kind of drugs but I don't know if they were hallucinogenic or not and I was like "OH YOU'D KNOW" then my parents gave me a funny look. |
| Friday, November 27th, 2009 |
| 7:39 pm |
Though I post a lot of embrassing poop stories in my journal; it could worse there could be actual witnesses to these events. I think thinking this as I was having explosive dirahhra in the parking lot behind my work. |
| Saturday, October 24th, 2009 |
| 3:48 pm |
I was there was a substance that would make my farts turn different colors. because invisible is kinda boring |
| Friday, October 23rd, 2009 |
| 11:56 pm |
I saw a three legged dog. and it was amazing. |
| Thursday, October 15th, 2009 |
| 8:41 pm |
the other day I was walking down Dartmouth Street and I saw a dog licking another dog's penis. besides being turned on, it got my thinking about some words of warning when having sex with dogs: if you fuck a pekingese be careful, they get WICKED clingy afterwards. But on the other hand Golden Retrievers are just all like , "get dressed and GTFO", and its just like "get we just cuddle?" why can't a man find the right dog to fuck? |
| Monday, October 5th, 2009 |
| 12:57 pm |
I think arttactive women with black eyes are hot. esspecially when I gave them the black eye in the first place. |
| Saturday, October 3rd, 2009 |
| 1:50 pm |
drop. push. push. relief. push. slide. slide. WIPE. pushpushpush;grunt. why is it green again? wait. push:andpush. wait. Why does it smell so bad? wipe. unleash. push. grunt. wipe finish |
| Monday, September 28th, 2009 |
| 6:56 pm |
Today I checked the sex offender regestion web site for my area, Couldn't they have found a more flatering photo of me? |
| Saturday, September 19th, 2009 |
| 10:51 pm |
when you're watch the Antiques Road Show and a quilt starts revealing the source of all reality you know its time to lay off the drugs. |
| Saturday, September 12th, 2009 |
| 12:27 pm |
Take some Adivce from Anthill don't rub toothpaste into your eyes. the more you know. |
| Tuesday, September 1st, 2009 |
| 7:23 pm |
Today I masturbated in the woods and now I have a masquito bite on my glans. :-( |